Free summary and analysis of the events in Libba Bray’s Beauty Queens that won’t make you snore. We promise. Scott McGehee and David Siegel of Warner Bros. announced their plans yesterday to adapt William Golding’s novel Lord of the Flies in a. Beauty Queens by Libba Bray – review. ‘It’s a funny and touching tale of friendship , a self-discovery story that turns cliches on their heads’.

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Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want ilbba Read Currently Reading Read. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Preview — Beauty Queens by Libba Bray. The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going baeuty be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete bg front of the cameras.

But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and uqeens no eyeliner.

Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program – or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan – or learn to run wild? And what should happen bbray the sexy pirates show up? Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness. Hardcoverpages. Award Honor List To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Beauty Queensplease sign up.

Any romance in this? I read the description and there are only girls on the island Delaney get your heteronormative bullshit out of my face but yes, there is. Does this book have any deaf or hard of hearing characters?

The name of the character is Sosie Simmons. See all 13 questions about Beauty Queens…. Lists with This Book.

Preheat oven to degrees. Whip until nice and fluffy. Just make sure one Preheat oven to degrees. Just make sure one is much more intelligent then the othersa handful of henchmen, a handful of open-minded hot guys with British accents, one hot eco-“terrorist”, one crazy-go-nuts dictator, copious amounts of satire, and oz.

Stir until well blended. Batter will be slightly lumpy. Pour into cupcake pans cuz cupcakes are all the rage, yo! Frost cupcakes then sprinkle with way too many unnecessary footnotes.

Top each cupcake with a maraschino cherry that has been laced with an organic hallucinogen. Take those cupcakes and dumb them down. Dumb them down again.

Okay, there you have it: Real review to be posted after the weekend. I want to make it clear, I don’t hate Beauty Queensnor do I like it. It was okay, overall.


I mean, sure, it did have it’s moments. Not that Beauty Queens caused me to laugh out loud–because it didn’t, especially not after the novelty of the “helpful” footnotes and commercial parodies wore off.

They were fun for the first few chapters, then they became an irritation. Also, I don’t particularly care for Libba Bray’s brand of satire. At times it was so overdone it beauyt inspired sighs of frustration, eye-rolling and thoughts of, “that would have been funny if” or “that could have been more powerful if” from me. I felt as though I was watching one of those really bad read: Yes, at times Beauty Queens is that much of a punishment, and then some. But that’s not the worst part. My major problem has to do with the fact that Bray’s story had a great foundation.

I mean, just read this: All those rules and shalt nots. They were no longer waiting for some arbitrary grade. They brag no longer performing. Sure, it’s all a little contrived, but still it’s a great jumping off point. Instead of doing anything worthwhile with it, Bray took that idea and made hray into a Very Special Episode of The Facts of Life, except way more condescending and a ba-zillion times more preachier–it’s not like the main message Bray is pummeling her audience with is new.

Girlfriend is preaching to the choir the entire time. And at no point does this book challenge one to think. Beauty Queens thinks for you, because thinking is hard, y’all. You wanna sell me on something? Give me a chance to think for myself.

Show me both sides of the argument. Present me with questions that don’t necessarily have an easy answer. Let me draw my own conclusions.

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray – review

Don’t incessantly beat me upside my head with libbba answers, your way of thinking. See, when that happens I tend to lose interest in what you have to say–even if I happen to agree with you–because you clearly think you’re superior, that I’m not intelligent enough to come to the right read: And don’t even think of telling me that some teenage girls need a book to do their thinking for them, that they need to be force fed the messages contained within Beauty Queens because their parents, their peers, the media has damaged them, tricked them into thinking otherwise.

Even if that is the case with some teenage girls, I fail to see how shoving a message down their aueens throats–be it negative or positive–is the way to go about building up self esteem, or fixing identity issues. I don’t fault Libba Bray for wanting to make this book funny, because Beauty Queens would have bombed qieens had it taken itself too seriously.

But like I said earlier, she took the satire, the tongue-in-cheekiness, way too far. Beauty Queens is obnoxious. Beauty Queens is that know-it-all girl that you sort of want to punch in the face because she isn’t as clever as she thinks she is; someone ought to bring her down a few notches. Anyway, because of Bray’s lack of control every character has been reduced to a cardboard cut-out of a stereotype.


Beauty Queens has two really stupid blondes from the south, a really slutty girl from the midwest, a super sexually repressed girl from queens upper-midwest, two minorities, a crazy pageant-head from Texas, A stereotypical lesbian, and a girl who is hearing impaired. Even Ms New Hampshire–whom, might I add, is this story’s Marysue–is feminist to btay fault, goes around feeling superior to the other girls on the island because she’s “enlightened” and they’re just a bunch of “stupid fools”.

There were a beauyt others pibba had even less going for them. Ms New Mexico, for example, had a tray table embedded in beaity skull. That was her only defining quality throughout the entire book. I kid you not. She’s probably the only reason anyone should read this book.

The rest of the ladies? Were really irritating and irrational and totally rubbed me the wrong way–go figure. You know how every chick flick has at least one painfully ridiculous cringe-worthy scene?

The sort of scene that makes you wonder how stupid Hollywood thinks women are. The sort of scene qeuens makes you vow to never see another chick flick again, like that random musical number with synchronized dance moves in My Best Friend’s Wedding. Or the ‘Bend and Snap’ scene from Legally Blonde.

Or the entire length of the movie Mama Mia? Yeah, this book has that. It ENDS with one of those scenes. Read this book or not. It’s totally up to you. I didn’t like beautty, clearly, but I’m not pleased with a lot of books these days.

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray – review | Children’s books | The Guardian

Like, especially their bodies are super beautiful, and the MC can’t shut up about how physically beautiful her love interest is. How come female MCs don’t fall in love with guys who have great personalities but are lacking in the looks department? Why can’t it just be about a meeting of minds? Especially when we go around telling ourselves that looks shouldn’t matter, to anyone especially men.

Isn’t that more than a little hypocritical? Oh, yeah, I forgot. No one wants to read about ugly people falling in love. I’ll have you know, starting when I was 12 years old my parents sent me to a girls camp in Colorado–five summers in a row.